What Happened with the Schnarch Movement???

[MJontheMend]

Can you explain this? I don't know what you mean. I can tell you that adopting the sexually dominant role is what would feel artificial to me, and perhaps to most women. I think Jenny and I are closest to being true female sexual aggressors and even we don't *prefer* it that way, as a matter of course.

I think I'm finally figuring out the solution to this problem now that I learned from the experience of not initiating for many monthes and have resumed initiating this week. If YOU are feeling horny and wanting sex or even if you are just wanting to feel horny and anticipate sex then you have to do just what Dave recommended whether you are a man or a woman. However, if you are a woman or a man who is most interested in feeling desire from your spouse or getting a dominant vibe from them in the encounter then you have to figure out how to give them the space that they need in order to feel that desire by doing whatever possible to hold your own desire in check. Unfortunately, in some situations the LD spouse truly never feels desire no matter what the circumstances and in other situations the LD spouse is unable to experience desire until the point that the HD spouse is about to walk out the door or into somebody elses bed. However, the fact that your spouse responds best to negative motivation is not your fault anymore than it would be your fault if your spouse was more turned on by a slap than a gentle caress.

In my sich, now that I've successfully returned to initiating, I know that if I want to see desire from my H all I have to do is spend a couple weeks, at most, acting as though I'm perfectly happy not to see any signs of desire from my H. If I do this, he'll start worrying about why/how his horny wife is able to go so long without and get a big, old jealousy hard-on. So all I have to do in order to see desire from my H is get over my feeling that it isn't "nice" to play in this way. However, it isn't my fault that he isn't able to feel desire in response to more positive behavior from me so I shouldn't feel guilty.