I had another question I meant to include… Sometimes I think it is difficult for us Schnarch newbies to identify the real issue at hand, to see what truly should be placed into the crucible. I think a lot of this depends of being able to differentiate and separate emotion from objective evaluation. Failing to do this has caused my wife and I to get sidetracked on some superficial issue whose resolution may make us feel good for the moment, but does nothing to cure the source of the problem. So the same argument keeps coming up again and again. The futility of this has caused each of us to withdraw and throw up our hands, seeing the situation as hopeless. Without any prospect for breakthrough, all we could do was to solidify our defenses. I think relationship education is the key to overcoming this, but have you found anything else that may help?
