Quote: I wonder if people think rattling the cage means in-your-face confrontation, which is scaring them off?
What I found to be the case is that anything you do/say that could actually be defined as "rattling the cage" is going to be experienced by your spouse as "in your face confrontation". For instance, I was very hesitant and hedging the first time I brought up the sex issue a la Schnarch with my H but just bringing up the subject caused my H to throw a complete "throw his clothes in a suitcase" fit.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
