What PM did for me is to help me realize that my desire for emotional/physical closeness was a legitimate "need." I began to push for what I felt was something just so basically human...and received a lot of half-hearted attempts. The anxiety of living this way became greater than the anxiety of living alone. I do feel I had to threaten my H with separation in order to get him aboard...but the thing is, it wasn't a threat---it was real and I was dead serious, and I guess that came across.
I learned in the process how much I truly wanted to save the marriage, that eventually even I had limits, and that my H had a bond with me that he didn't want to lose. It was exhausting and I do hope you find an easier way to improve your marriage.
