By definition, you're not going to counseling unless you are "both admitting there's a problem, and both willing to work at it," so my point holds.
And I'm sorry, but I've seen a LOT of poor souls on here do YEOMAN'S work, over months and months and months, and end up with nothing other than their own side-benefits of their "GAL" efforts. I'm not going to name names, but we all know who they are, and you can't for a moment say that they "didn't face the hard choices."
Choc., who adds that "past performance doesn't necessarily guarantee future results . . . but it's a pretty danmed good indicator."
