I have exactly the same impression. What I see on this board is that many have not been willing to follow through with the changes in themselves (i.e., differentiation) needed to effectively establish and HOLD to boundaries. Most of the people who come here do so because they believe they are the ones with the lesser degree of power in the relationship. If they had that the more powerful position, they would have forced the changes they want, and their spouses would be the ones posting here.
So many times people have said they need to firm up their backbone and rattle the cage to get things done. Corri and NOPkins seem to understand this point. But by reading Schnarch closely, you can see that the power balance is really equal, and that in many ways the person who feels like they have less control are really the ones controlling themselves!
But I’d like to hear more on whether this is true and if so, why does it happen?
