Thanks so much for your sympathy and wise advice. To answer your question, my H is 56 years old and I think he is going through a MLC -- in addition to this affair, he has changed his appearance, changed his interests, lost at least 30 pounds, shaved his beard, pierced his ears and is wearing earrings, grown his hair, is wearing different clothes, and a couple of weeks ago just started a minimum-wage job. Does that sound like a MLC?
But as of last night there is a new development. Last night he told that he and the ow have just "broken up" but are still friends. So they are still doing things together but he won't be staying overnight. It sounded like her decision. He told me that she could no longer stand his not being with her all the time. I was thunderstruck, but was not sure how to react. I don't feel like pressuring him now to work on the marriage is the thing to do. To be honest, I'm not sure what I want to do at this point. I had just started planning beyond him. And I'm not sure if this will last. I'm not sure if his holding back from her had to do with some kind of loyalty to me, or just wanting to keep something of himself. I did have the impression that she was clingy and needy. I had given him lots of space, and he was used to that. Anyway, I think I will just go slowly and play it by ear. But any ideas or advice are welcome.
