Yet Another #$%&#! Chapter

[Tim297181]

OK this sitch sounds way to similar to mine! I am 35 2 young kids 2 and 4 yrs old. Married 8 yrs!

My W had sleep overs with the OM in front of me. Majority of the time we slept together at home also. I tried to DB/DR! I found it hard to detatch.

I finally was able to detatch when I said I deserve better than this, and the life my W is leading is not in reality and is a bunch of crap.

So to detatch I lost my emmotional dependancy on my W. She could do anything she wanted but I was not going to be emmotionally dependant on her or let her be dependant on me. I was not going to hide what she was doing to anyone anymore, and I wanted to live my life and see if I could be happy without her. For me that meant talking to a lawyer and truly excepting a D.

When that happened my W fell apart. Reality hit her on the side of the head and she realized that what she was doing was wrong and was hurting alot of people.

Now looking back and talking to my W about it, she really needed a kick in the butt. She knew she had me at home and could escape reality and be with the OM also without any real consequences to her actions. She thought at the time it was cool! Have some fun with the OM, I helped her hide it, and have me on the side when needed! Have her cake and eat it too!

I believe your W needs to be called out on all this. You deserve better! YOU HAVE TO DECIDE THAT! Does that mean going to a lawyer? If that is what you want then do it. Can it be done without going that far...Heii yah!
I would say no more sleeping together, I would personally treat like I would treat a good friend, and that is it.

Accept the fact that D is reality. Embrace the idea of D and don't be sad about it. Life will go on without your W. The big D is not your goal or you would not be here on this board, and i am not saying pursue a D. Just lead your life as if your W and you were D. Give her a taste of what reality is. It worked with my W. Don't be mean or cruel! Think of how you would act years from now for the sake of the kids around your W and do it now. It is a 180. Still be available to your W. Don't shut her out completely. Let her see you moving forward, and still have a door open to her.

Will this work for your W? I am not sure but it will give you clarity for the future. D or recouncil you will be stronger as a person! And oh yah to heii with the OM going to the same councilor with her! Is he your M councilor or for the dysfunctional R they have! Maybe harsh but that is what I think!