Thanks for responding GH and RB. I needed to speak to someone and I actually feel better today. If I would have any advice for a newcomer here, it would be that things get easier over time....
I was dealing quite well with my sitch, but I also suspected that things were moving in my favor, so the revelation that W was ready to get back to divorcing was quite a shock and took me back to that fateful day last June...
I still don't believe that her relationship with OM will last any longer than any other extramarital affair, but again (say ad nauseum) I don't want my kids involved in all of this.
With regards to reading 'Harley', I haven't. I have read "The Five Love Languages" and I have heard of Harley's stuff from here and other places. In reading the "Divorce Remedy" I have found no reference to kicking cheating spouses to the curb.
Kicking my wife out wouldn't help my sitch much. First, W is the sole breadwinner now for the last five years. I have no job, and at 49, little prospect to find a great position like I once had so easily. Secondly, if I kick her out, that means I would be kicking my kids out part of the time too, something I loathe to do. Especially because when W moves out, she will move in with OM, and I am in no hurry to have my kids exposed to that amoral a**hole.
As far as being the good DBer, I would give myself a B-. I have attempted getting a life. I am back in school working towards a second degree with better job prospects and I have joined a band - something I've wanted to do for about 30 years. I stopped begging and crying and talking about the OM and generally became my cheating spouses' friend. I have tried to follow the example of successful DBing oldtimer, MF, who also had a cheating wife whom he won back with his DBing skills. If you haven't read his posts, look him up. If you can't find it, post a request here and I will find the link....Very inspirational.
Yes, I could have done better, but I did alright, and I believe my actions kept my W here many more months than anyone would have expected given the blind hormonal love W had for OM. She remained here until that blind love subsided, and I credit DBing and giving her her space for that.
THere are other interesting circumstances surrounding all of this drama which I am still not fully apprised of, and I will update here when I know more.
Thank you again for your kind words of support. I certainly need it. I hope to hear from more of you soon...
