Sex starved wife who finally found out why

[Lillieperl]

out there but I believe some of this is due to his catholic upbringing. He was planning on becoming a priest while in high school but his mother bullied him out of it because he was the only son of an only son and she wanted the family name to continue.

Well, he's certainly showing Mom, isn't he! She can't MAKE me!


A couple of other HDW's on here are married to LD ex-seminarians (or almost seminarians).

[NHTom]

TX,

I hear your frustration and all too frequently share it.

It sounds like he's scared and just wants to hide.

I'm still on my fairy tale kick, but let's see where it goes and whether or not such a model can help.

The story line might go like this: A prince was born in a good family. He was happy for a while those around him started to cast a spell over him. One spell was that he was bad. Another was that sex was bad. He fought against this spell for many years and tried many things to make it go away - but it only gave the spell more power. Finally, it became so powerful that it made this good prince fall asleep. His princess also tried many things and other magic like high heels and make-up, but they weren't powerful enough to lift the spell. When he fell asleep she cried bitterly because she was so alone.

So, princess, how can you break this spell? How can you make him want to fight the effects of the poison apple? What has worked for other princesses in the same situation?

MY GUESS is that a princess's sweet voice can reach the sleeping prince inside this shell of a man. Don't talk to the man, talk to the prince inside of him and little by little the prince will awaken. In order for magic to work, you have to believe it will.

My basic points here are that there is something etheric (a lie) that is preventing him from being who he really is. My other point is that by disregarding, disrespecting and even ignoring the "spell" the "spell" can lose it's power. If YOU don't believe the "spell" then he doesn't have to, either. You are a strong princess and a lie or a spell is no match for your power.

I wish you luck. My princess is still locked in her tower and held by the same spells/lies as your husband. I think I'm making some progress. But, it's sooo easy to become discouraged. Sometimes I just want to cast other spells on her because I get so frustrated and don't want to deal with it. But, I have to fight and stay true.

TWYNALTR
Tom

[DFE]

Dear Nicegal,

I honestly think alot of this started because at the beginning of our marriage he wasnt doing well in his career. I had a steady paying job and although he had a job it was a commission based job and he wasnt really making steady income. He also wasnt really working as hard as he is now. I would leave for work before him and return after him. He was just hanging out because the job wasnt that great. He would talk to me about it all the time. About how horrible he felt about it and that he wish he could contribute more. Maybe that was where it started. We were always financially okay. We actually do better than ok now. He has new job and makes great money as do I. Maybe too much money because nothing really makes him happy anymore. Everything was obtained too easily. We got lucky with some investments and things like that. We are young but do really well.

Maybe when he got this new job working with people that were big spenders and lived lavish lives it hit him how unhappy he was. He is a free spirit. The only thing that matters in his life is enjoying it. I hate to say it but he is selfish about it. He doesnt believe in working too hard at anything. Especially our relationship. It should either be there or not.

I feel I could have worked on anything with him to save our marriage because I dont believe in divorce. I just dont know how you make someone love you again. Anything but this I could have dealt with but he tells me he just doesnt see himself with me anymore and that he doesnt feel romantic about me. It hurts.

We went out on Sunday with some friends. He text me later and told me he had fun. I dont know if that is a good sign or any sign. I am so hopeful that my prayers will be answered. I have gotten to the point that I am real upset and dissapointed at him for leaving me at a time where I am ill and needed him the most but I dont want to throw my relationship away. I have put a lot of time and effort into it. There is no reason for us not be happy with each other. We are both good people, were once madly in love, we are still each others closest friends (although he isnt acting like one lately), we dont have financial problems. I am just baffled. I wish I knew he could get back his feelings for me.

The C wanted him to stay away for a month to miss me. I am afraid it would be Out of Sight Out of Mind. I guess that saying goes. If you love something set it free............

[NHTom]

Darling Tilly, (has a nice ring, doesn't it? )

It occured to me that if your H was thinking about becoming a priest that perhaps "magic" wasn't the best model to use as magic has a bad connotation in Christian circles. If that is the case you might check out: http://www.marriage.org/CoreValues/Links/Free_First_Aid/free_first_aid.html

There, instead of "incantations" to break a "spell" she calls on God. AIN'T NOBODY GOOD AS GOD AT BREAKING SPELLS.

If you have a Christian bent the page will do you a lot of good. It helped me and gave me the idea modeling the fairy tales.

Either way, I feel for you and wish you the best of outcomes.

Tom

[TXTilley]

Tom, I checked out the website you mentioned. IT WAS GREAT! Yes, I am a believer and I do believe God can heal this marriage. You have given me great hope.
Thanks,
Til