I think that because your H said that he was confused is why she said no contact for a month. To clear the head of confusion.
I know that when I was confused about my M. I mean I was an emotional wreck. I just decided not to work on it for a while. Stop trying. Now that was my plan to make it better...and not an escape.
I took a break. Was cordial with my H but more or less avoided him. Just to avoid pain. I did not want to separate, for the sake of my children. I knew that. So I just distanced myself from him so I could get my head on straight.
I'm sure that's what this C is doing.
I'd really thought about separation. Talked to a woman who'd divorced her H, because of numberous affairs on his part, but she regrets many things she did and how she handled it for her children to see. I really respect her.
THat's how I came to my conclusion that I would just emotionally distance at home. Kids never knew though as we treated each other with respect in their presence and were cordial.
Boredom seems to be a problem. Why is he not happy? What does he say? I know that my H told me that. He wasn't happy because I never seemed to be happy, he said. I'd complain about things.
Does he has purpose to his life? From your description of him, it sounds like he doesn't. He's had the gorgeous wife and great sex, now a sports car etc....If I didn't have purpose to my life, I'd be impossible!!
His honesty with you...I understand the hurt part. I'd ask my H questions and he'd be too brutally honest for me! But then, I asked. I learned to be tougher. To take it. To be a stronger woman. To be more logial and less emotional so that I'd relate better to my H. Someone has to change. When you do, you look weak...but you are actually strong for being able to do so. Wish I'd have found that out 20 years ago rather than wanting to be right all the time and fighting change!!!!
Then I'd listen to what he'd have to say. Stop defending myself and listen to his points. Unfortuneatly most were true!!!
In time, now he will listen to me! And today he even laughed when I told him what he did and we made a big joke out of it. It was very endearing to me.
