Sex starved wife who finally found out why

[DFE]

DFE,

A few thoughts:

1) I would really reconsider seeing a Counsellor who recommends seeing other people. That could only confuse your issues.

That is exactly what I thought. I told my H today that I didnt think I wanted to see MC again. He is still going to her. I think that is trouble too. He told her yesterday that he was confused on what to do and she said maybe we should stop all contact for a month to see what happens. That is too much distance if you ask me.

2) How old is your H? He could be going through a mid life crisis.

My H is only 33 but he has all the signs of a MLC. New sports car yesterday, working out all the time, wants to party, etc. He says he is miserable in our marriage and all he wants out of life is to get up in the morning and be happy.
3) Love is a decision. Is is respect of another character. If you had feelings at some point those are possible again. But it is common for feelings to change. Absolutely! In my opinion if things are on the up and up, no one else is invovled..either EA or otherwise, then both are willing to some degree to work on the marriage. ie. he wishes he could be willing?

That is my problem. He is a quitter. If something means any amount of discomfort for him then he will drop it. I just never thought that would apply to me. He feels leaving the marriage is easier and less work than working at it. Also his biggest problem is that he doesnt feel the same about me anymore.

4) What does you H say specifically that he finds unattractive about you, does he know?

No he doesnt. He says its just not there. He thinks I am beautiful inside and out and knows others find me attractive. I am young, thin, and not to be conceited fairly attractive. I get lots of attention from other men. He says that is what he cant understand how he just feels nothing for me when he looks at me. This is from someone who couldnt keep their hands off of me. He said at the MC that I used to be so attracted to her and always want to be with her now I just dont feel that way anymore.

5) If there was once chemistry, it can happen again...court each other, improve yourself, grow personally, discuss the things that have driven you apart...ie. sex and etc.

You are right unfortunately everytime we try to do this I end up getting aggravated and we end up arguing. I need to learn to control it if I havent already screwed things up.

6) I wonder if he is being completely honest with you. He may have his eye on someone who is sparking his interest...even for those with whom it is out of character...faith or beliefs...these things can still happen.

You are absolutely right but what gets me is that I am going through so major stuff with my health and he felt this was the time to be honest with me about our M. So if he is being honest about that at a time like this why wouldnt he just tell me hey I am interested in someone else. He has always always been brutally honest with me. Even when he knows it hurts me. It sometimes ticks me off that he is so honest.

Nicegal