It sounds like you are on the right track. Your H is saying the same things mine has, and I was doing what you are. I took his "let's work on this" to mean exactly that, and kinda stopped with the GAL and the mystery, all of it, really. The lesson learned is, you can never stop. That's all part of keeping your own identity and being happy, taking the happiness you found when your marriage was out the door and bringing it back in to the relationship.
Not that I am a success story or anything,honestly don't know where my sitch is going, but my H bounced three times, we have been living together for three weeks, and almost immediately he had begun to withdraw again. I realized I was expecting WAY too much, but we just aren't there yet and won't be for a long time. So, I'm back on my horse and ready to really LEARN to live the DB stuff, because it works to make me feel good about myself, and already things with the H are flowing back in the direction I want.
So, not trying to hijack, just trying to give an example, I totally saw myself in your sitch.
