I'm sorry to hear this....so what was his reason for calling her at 6:00am, midnight, and 1am? Not typical office hours.
Giving someone an e-mail address to prove they are a co-worker does not prove they aren't a lover.
Wanting him to come clean before you move forward is absolutely not unrealistic of you, it's necessary....absolutely necessary. If he is having an affair (and I'm sorry, but it looks like he is)....think of all the things he could be exposing you to. What he's doing by talking with her on his cell phone....in front of you...is IMPO flaunting what he's doing and expecting that either you won't really catch on, or you won't do anything about it. When you confront him, and you need to, tell him that if he wishes to keep his marriage and you, then he needs to come clean with you, otherwise you will not be able to move forward and get past this.
There is absolutely no reason for him to call a "consultant" that many times in one month, or on Holidays!!! Unfortunately, I have to say....it's fairly obvious what he's doing. Set a hard boundary on this....he needs to cut off all contact with OW, or...well, you decide what the consequences are.
