I hope you don’t mind a 62 yr old man replying to your post. I reply to say, our/my wife in particular, situation is several stages past where you are now with your libido feelings.
It is good to hear you still enjoy sex after you start and can have O's. I can only wish my W and I were there.
There have been a couple of threads about women that have no or little libido but still like sex and the general gist of what you say is common for some women. I hear the same thing on a radio program about relationships. Must be something about aging.
Arousal then desire or desire and then arousal, which comes first: Do you have to have libido before you initiate or even want to be intimate with your partner. NO!
There are several cases where there is no libido but the woman becomes sexually aroused. Maybe some one remembers a good thread about this subject and will post a link or do a search for doobie's benefit.
Maybe too much information (TMI) Here are some posts from women that had a good SL, had breast cancer treatments of all kinds, some very radical, they miss their old SL, feel bad about their body image to various degrees, but are willing to try things to get back to what they call the "New You." I WANT MY MOJO BACK! The thread starts out somewhat on a depressing note but gets better, so read it ti the end or start on the end of the thread and read it backwards. Sorry if this is too drastic of an example for you right now. I thought you might find some of their information useful.
Some of the lubes might help. Some women liked things like, sexy movies, scents, candles, Astroglide (sometimes just a little helps), all kinds of vitamins and supplements to minimal/very low dose hormones like Vagifem, Estring. Some work or seem to work for some people.
Several women subscribe to doing kegel exercises and/or daily masturbation and say "Try for a week...I've had pretty great results!" Toward the end of the thread the women discuss vibrators. Again, I don’t know what you are like or what is off limits. I am only providing information you "might" be able to use.
The reason I am posting this information is because my Wife/BB has a Hysterectomy, had BC, cant be on HRT ( and other problems that led to less interest in a SL) so I have experienced some of the problems but on the male side of the relationship.
I help BB as much as I can but she does not use the internet, read many books, or ask too many questions when she has medical appointments, so much of the information gathering is left up to me.
There were several posts that said having low libido or desire and then having good sexual feelings or arousal is somewhat common.
Oldtimer here on the SSM forum said this Unlike with men, going a month without sex can often lessen the desire for sex with women, at least among the women I know. This is one example that indicates the les sex/ML you engage in, sex becomes less interesting. So maybe the more often the W has sex (up to a point) the more she likes sex and thinks about sex.
What I offered is influenced by my experiences and what I have read. They may or not apply to your situation. Take what you can use. I am sure everyone here on the forum wishes you the best and will try to help you.
Anyway, welcome to the forum. I hope you find the answers you are looking for.
