I usually post on the seperated thread. My W told me she wants our marriage to work, and she sees it happening. Some quick background W had a A about 7 months ago it went on for about 3 months. She say's she realized it was a mistake and that she does want me, she say's it's not fair to be with me at this point when she still occasionaly thinks of the OM (eventhough she has no desire to be with him because she realizes it was all an act he was putting on) She wants to be friends (I have no problem with that) and continue the relationship when I return from FL. in about 7 months she is even saying she wants to live with me at that point. My big questions are how do I get get past the awkwardness of starting over again, how do I breakthrough to be able to hold her hand, kiss her, and so on? How when I know she is ready for that? If anyone has any info on peiceing a marriage back together some stuff to do and stuff to avoid any info would be appreciated.
Nice to hear w wants things to work out. As far as the when to do what? Don't look at this as going back to your w or her coming back to you...that m obviously wasn't working anyway. Treat her and the r as you would a new one...so as far as that first kiss or holding her hand...you'll know when it's time and if you're not sure...well you take baby steps.
I’m not sure there’s an acceptable answer, because all couples are different; what works/worked for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Every relationship is unique, so you’re going to kind of have to feel and talk your way thru it to find out exactly how you two are going to get thru all of that.
But there is something that usually *does* work for most everyone, and that’s counseling to learn how to deal in a constructive and positive manner with the hurt, the anger, the resentments, and everything else that not drove your marriage apart in the first place. No one spouse screws up a marriage -- both equally mismanaged the relationship into the ground. BUT, and this a very important but: Your relationship is going to need professional help for both of you to assess what happened and then figure out how to change your behaviors toward each other. Because if you don’t, the exact same thing is going to happen again. Guaranteed! Your wife coming back to you is just the very beginning of what will amount to a very long journey that a lot of people don’t complete.
Another most important BUT is to learn how to resurrect your relationship without either one of you getting hostile or defensive with the blame game. That’s an easy trap to fall into, and truth be told, hard at first to change. But with practice and the will to change for the better, your chances of coming out of this get a lot better. One publication that addresses this that I personally found a lot of value in besides Michele’s “Divorce Remedy” was “Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says I Don’t Love You Anymore!” by Nancy Wasson, Ph.D. It’s available for instant download as a PDF for something like $29.95.
Good luck, soldier.
Sabu
It's better to need someone because you love them than it is to love someone because you need them.
Thank you very much It is very helpful my sitch is really confusing at this point I'm seperated from W but she wants to work our M out. (who knows I'm letting her do her own thing) I have been letting her call me, she did make an intresting comment last night (we have been talking about our future) she was taking care of her friends baby and said she wanted to stay in practice. (should I take that as a good sign because she knows I wanted another baby?) Our call got interupted she was supposed to call me back but never did. Her cell was being loaned to a friend, so if the 1 phone was busy till late that would probably be why I didn't get a call.
I have a question about Aniverseries, our's is on April 12th should I make plans with her or should I hold back and let her make the plans.(she has always liked the fact that I was romantic) But, I still don't want to pressure her.
Since your WAW has indicated she wants the M to work, and she always liked your being romantic, I would do something, but keep it low-key. I would certainly get a card, but aim for something amusing rather than overly romantic, and give a gift like a framed photo of the children (if you have any), or a book on a favourite hobby or hers (if she has any), or take her for a dance lesson - just have fun. I wouldn't go for a candlelit dinner, or sexy lingerie, or perfume - she may see that as pressure, sexually speaking. If she wants romance, then she should organize it, and make the overtures. Anyway, that's my opinion.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Well more issues i'm staying with a friend and he is moving so that leaves me with no place to stay. My W is staying with F's the house they will not be able to renew the lease, they guy that rents to them is a F of mine and he said he was pissed at the condition of the property. So that leaves me homeless in about 3 weeks and my W homeless in the near future. I'm trying to convince her to move in to a house with me and she can stay up here while I'm in Fl. like she had wanted to do. Or she could move to FL. with me. I don't know what to do at this point????
What is a vital key to your marriage restoration? The answer is obedience. Your obedience in listening and obeying your Lord Jesus Christ's voice of instructions in your daily life. I believe with all my heart, that if you will seek the Lord for His plan and purpose for your life and marriage, your Lord God will speak to you showing His will and way. That is vital for you to be able to have the assurance that you are on the right road following your Lord Jesus Christ.
"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21
"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27
Do you know what is one of the most important prayers that you can pray for your spouse other than for repentance? It is for obedience. That will take your spouse from hearing the Lord telling them over and over again to get out of their situation, TO doing it! If we would take a survey of how the Lord is speaking to your spouse to come home, almost guaranteed, they had been told more times than they could count to: get out of their situation, turn their life to the Lord and go back to you, their spouse.
You need to pray for your mate's obedience. Their disobedience is blocking them coming to their Lord and back home to you. I do not believe Bob could tell you how many times the Lord told him to stop doing what he was doing. God kept calling Bob's name to return to the Lord and to go home!
"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." Proverbs 17:27-28
I've been praying my W woke up this morning with a migraine so I feel so bad for her. I told her F Ashley to have her give me a call when she gets back from the Dr. I have people telling me we are going to get back together, My W is aying she wants it to work she just needs time to get over the A she said I have 75% of her heart but the other 25% is still in the phase of there's something missing. She said she wanted me to have 100% of her. I just hope I can get it.
Is it normal to feel used? My W is saying she wants things to work and that she thinks things will work yet last night she looked like she was going to give me a kiss but when I went in for one she said she wasn't ready yet. I felt so rejected. The feelings of rejection might due in this M. I can respect what she is saying and I do love her more than anything (except for maye my S) but to be rejected by the one you love felt like I had my heart ripped out again. She said let her come to me. I'm trying to do this but it seems like our progress has hit a rut. I'm just really confused right now about where everything is headed. I really want to belive my W that our M will work.
If anyone has any info on peiceing a marriage back together some stuff to do and stuff to avoid any info would be appreciated. 
