I’m not sure there’s an acceptable answer, because all couples are different; what works/worked for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. Every relationship is unique, so you’re going to kind of have to feel and talk your way thru it to find out exactly how you two are going to get thru all of that.
But there is something that usually *does* work for most everyone, and that’s counseling to learn how to deal in a constructive and positive manner with the hurt, the anger, the resentments, and everything else that not drove your marriage apart in the first place. No one spouse screws up a marriage -- both equally mismanaged the relationship into the ground. BUT, and this a very important but: Your relationship is going to need professional help for both of you to assess what happened and then figure out how to change your behaviors toward each other. Because if you don’t, the exact same thing is going to happen again. Guaranteed! Your wife coming back to you is just the very beginning of what will amount to a very long journey that a lot of people don’t complete.
Another most important BUT is to learn how to resurrect your relationship without either one of you getting hostile or defensive with the blame game. That’s an easy trap to fall into, and truth be told, hard at first to change. But with practice and the will to change for the better, your chances of coming out of this get a lot better. One publication that addresses this that I personally found a lot of value in besides Michele’s “Divorce Remedy” was “Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says I Don’t Love You Anymore!” by Nancy Wasson, Ph.D. It’s available for instant download as a PDF for something like $29.95.
Good luck, soldier.
Sabu
It's better to need someone because you love them than it is to love someone because you need them.
