Quote: Maybe there are things that you need to change/fix. In doing so, even if you cannot change who your W talks to, perhaps you will change what it is she is saying.
I never looked at it that way. I was just so scared of these people encouraging her to leave before I even have a chance to fix things.
As far as my situation, I know there are many things that need to be fixed. I'm trying to work on the things I can change by myself now. I knew we had some issues between us the last year or so. I just wasn't looking at the same issues she was. My main problem (I thought) was my job. I work out of town usually 8 days come home for 6 days. It's a differenet lifestyle every other week for both of us.
My wife's point of view is alot different than mine. She won't talk to much about it but these are issues she has mentioned to me.
1. Anger...I do get angry. I didn't realize it was that bad.
2. Controlling...I didn't see this. But she believes it.
3. Trust..She doesn't trust me to be there for her emotionaly or financially. I didn't know there were any emotional issues. The Finances I take full resposibility for. She doesn't deal with the bills at all. I make good money this shouldn't be an issue. There have been times I just haven't been as responsible as I should have.
There are probably more than this. I do know these are the main ones. My wife blames me for every problem we have. The only thing she accepts responsibility for is not talking to me years ago when these issues started. She's brought things up from 10 years back. We have only been married 11 1/2 years.
She said she put up a wall to keep me from hurting her any more. She has no desire to try and work it out.
I still think there is a chance she will open back up to me. I just have to be patient and show her the changes i've made. A couple of the reasons I believe this is she still cares what I think about her friends. If she's leaving why would she care what I think about them? Like I said I don't even know them. Also she has no job and doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get one. She's had one test/interview in a month. She doesn't seem to be to aggresive in pursuing a divorce. Well hopefully that's enough info to get some more input for a third person.
