OT, would your last post apply to me as well? You keep saying that I am the one who needs to romance my W, not the other way around but I feel the same as NM, that I want/deserve to be romanced and shown I am desirable. Why haven't you said it's up to my W to do those things. In my case it's always that my W is either not ready or sitting there waiting with blazing panties for me to "do the right thing" all the time. Why can't SHE be the one to show ME affection and desire FIRST? Is this a man/woman thing or is your feeling about my sitch different (or maybe not) because of the specific facts?
Sorry for the hijack but you know I am having a hard time with this and I think these last couple posts between you and NM have allowed me to realize that THIS idea of entitlement to pursuit is one of the largest stumbling blocks I face.
I too felt this was an unreal expectation but then you said to NM that it was not. I don't think it's unreal to feel like I am desirable, because I am, it's just unreal to expect HER to act in a way that validates that feeling. Maybe SO and my W ARE feeling somehow "unworthy" of being who WE want them to be. Then, at that point, is the burden back on us to convince them that it's ok to be?
This is all so confusing at times, and at others, I think I have a handle on it. Luckily for me, it's the times when I am away from my W with lots of time to think, that I seem NOT to have a handle on it, lol.
