Had a bad weekend. So, beware - long post ahead! Got into a scuffle with my sister on Saturday night, nothing I really feel like going into detail about. In the end, I ended up getting either pushed or hit (not sure, it all happened so quickly), and ended up with a black eye.
This put the ki-bosh on going to SO's sisters baby shower...well, I could have gone, was actually looking for an excuse to get out of it, lol.
Anyway, I only bring it up because it then involves SO. Now Friday, he had left a message after he got out of work, I never heard the phone ring (for real, lol) and he left a really long, very nice message...including that he missed talking to me (no, no - not the elusive he missed ME, but oh well)....Saturday morning I emailed him when we left, then he called me as we were driving. It took me almost 3.5 hours to get there, had stops to make and traffic. He asked me to call when I got there.
Sunday morning I checked my voice mail and there was another message from him from about 2 AM when he got out of work, again saying he missed talking to me, he knew he couldn't get me (no cell service where I was) but that he wanted to leave me a message and said he would be at my house doing work in the garage on Sunday. I called him back and left him a message only telling him that I wasn't going to the shower and thanking him for his nice voice mail from the night before.
When I got home, he took one look at my eye and asked what happened. I lied and said I was my usual klutzy self. I'm actually not even sure HOW it happened...so it wasn't exactly an untruth. Later on, he ran to the store with D7 - I'm not sure if he questioned her or something, but he called me up irate - asking me what really happened. I broke down and told him. Now, this is nothing new for my sister to get drunk and start fighting with people. But SO jumped all over me and it really hurt me and pissed me off at the same time.
When he got here, I went to the garage and started yelling why I got involved in her problems - wouldn't even give me a chance to explain anything. Then he made some smart ass remarks about me and if I was drunk (no) and where our kids were (in the house sleeping); and who was there (as if I was with another man). I finally got so angry I said I wasn't going to take this kind of crap from a liar and a cheat, that I was not perfect and if he couldn't accept that, then he could stay with little miss perfect OW. He asked me why I lied about it in the 1st place and I told him it was because I knew how he was going to react. Then I said I wasn't going to discuss it and went into the house.
From that point on, he was just so angry and was acting really childish and giving me the silent treatment. I didn't even care. I just wondered exactly what was making him angry - that I was hit; about my sister - I can't figure it out. I knew that he wasn't really mad at ME, but that he was taking it out on me. I say this because BEFORE, I never would have tried to think about what was making him angry. I would have just argued back with him about it and made things worse. This time, I was trying to do it differently.
When he left, still all mad, he called a little while later and only spoke with D7 - still gave me the silent treatment. Then told D7 that she should ask me if she could stay over at his apartment tonight and go to work with him Tuesday. I emailed him that I was really upset and very hurt by how he was treating me, especially when he didn't have the whole story. I told him I wasn't expecting him to "understand" but that I had hoped he would have at least been on my side. I said "I got that very nice VM from you Saturday night and now I have to face your anger and sarcasm and it really bothers me."
He emailed me back with a smart ass "Whatever". I didn't even bother to reply - it was too childish for me, I wasn't about to get drawn into his angry world. I just went to bed.
This morning, once again - silent treatment. I didn't let it bother me - I knew he was going to be like that. Later on, I had no choice but to email him, telling him "If this was the way you're going to act and not talk to me, then it's fine by me. I need diapers."
About noon, I still hadn't heard from him, so I called his cell...got VM. I left a message that said I didn't know whether he was still acting childish and avoiding my call, but I needed know whether he was getting the diapers or not and if he could just text me if he didn't want to talk me. So that I knew if I had to go to the store or not. I added again that he was being very childish and I was still hurt by his attitude. He called back about 10 minutes later and told me that he had been in getting the diapers when I called.
When he got here, the first thing he said to me was "How am I being childish?" I looked at him and he went on "I emailed *my 16 year old nephew* to warn all those guys that he was PO'd." I said, "SO - he wasn't even there. He knows nothing about this. The only people that were there were Me, Sis, Friend. I said Nephew doesn't need to know about this because it was about him & Nephew12." And I almost started crying. He said OH.
A few minutes later he came back and told me that he unsent the email. I looked at him and said "thank you. This whole fight was all about the kids." After that, the day was better. We seemed to get past it. He was out in the garage finishing up the brake job he was doing and asked if I could help him. While I was helping him, he asked if D7 could come over. I asked "Will OW be there?" He said NO, why would she? I said, "I had to ask." I know I should not have asked that question, but as far as I'm concerned, if OW is still part of his life, WE need to discuss that kind of scenario BEFORE D7 gets involved.
Anyway...he just called and was a little short with me. I have no idea why. I'm not going to let it bother me. I just don't understand.
So that was my weekend. I put that stuff in there because I want to point out how MY reaction to SO changed. The old me would have instantly flown off the handle to SO about his behavior towards me. My email to him about being hurt by his reaction is also something completely opposite of how I would have handled it in the past. I really do think it was the right thing to do, and it probably caught him by surprise as well. Instead of arguing with him about it, I told him why I was upset. Very different for me, and I think it helped. Not only did I not fight with him about it, but I gave him my reasons and told him I didn't like how he was treating me. I'm sure I could have said it better, but at least it was something different!
