I wish the circumstances were similar to yours , but my W takes the same approach whenever I bring up the OM. She plays it off like not only is there no OM, so-to-speak (she claims it's ONLY an EA after all), but that I am crazy for thinking there is. I think it's part of the WAS natural defense mechanism for avoiding all talk of the affair. A full description of it can be found on page 678 of the WAS Handbook.
Seriously, when my W says those things, it always stirs up all those conflicting emotions/ideas in me. WTH is the best way to sum it up. I mean, does she REALLY believe that I am that stupid? OR, am I really that stupid for thinking there is more going on that there actually is, as she says. It is a often used tactic by the WAS because it WORKS.
My W adds to the "You have nothing to worry about" and "It's not like that" variants of the standard "there is no OM" tactic by saying things along the lines of "I can't believe you think I would do that!" That one in particular makes me chuckle inside. Then again, it also makes me wonder if I am ascribing negative traits to her that don't fit. Maybe she isn't a woman who could have a PA...then again, I may never know that.
Ok, so back to you NM, you are right to question this in your mind, and probably right to question him directly about WTH this means from him. It's frustrating as hell to think these people would simply choose NOT to tell us in a direct, honest way, when their affairs are over. I suppose it's their way of holding onto them as a backup plan.
, but my W takes the same approach whenever I bring up the OM. She plays it off like not only is there no OM, so-to-speak (she claims it's ONLY an EA after all), but that I am crazy for thinking there is. I think it's part of the WAS natural defense mechanism for avoiding all talk of the affair. A full description of it can be found on page 678 of the WAS Handbook.