I did the same thing - (prior to reading Divorce Remedy) I asked my H to move out when he revealed the affair to me. After reading Michele's books, I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing, but have come to the conclusion that it was the best thing for me. I believe I would not have been able to DB with him here. I was too emotional, and have had freedom to manage that in all of it's histrionic glory, without him around to see. As a consequence, I am now "the perfect wife" according to him, after 2 1/2 months and have not given him any additional reasons to leave. Of course, I still want my husband to come home and to recommit to our marriage. But the space will allow him to explore his relationship with the OW in the light of day rather than constantly feeling guilty every time he sees my face, and trying to protect my feelings by holding back or lying. I believe if he has full freedom to see this thing through with her, that their relationship will eventually fizzle out. Meanwhile, I still consider our home OUR home, and his rented room as a sleeping residence near his work, and he thinks that too and has said so. Even though he is very attached to keeping his room right now, because it allows him to continue his self-medicated state with the OW.
So I think DBing is the goal, and if we need some space so we can be effective at it, then that is ALOT better than being a whining, raging, emotional basket case in front of them.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
