Just to elaborate, the point I was trying to make is that there are people on these boards who will say that doing a 180 means being nicer to their S than they were before. They don't experiment and monitor results (Michele says to evaluate what's working and what's not every two weeks). They don't stop going down cheeseless tunnels. They continue to seek reassurances from their S's and initiate R talk. They think that GAL means that they go to the gym 4 times a week instead of 3.

In short, I read DR as advocating much more than just having a PMA. I read it as a plan for radical change. Our S's were dissatisfied enough with our marriages that they thought they would be happier with someone else, even considering all the moral, familiar, and financial consequences of that decision. Putting a smiley face on ain't gonna be enough to change that.


The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)