As far as only a friend, she knows and has stated that she knows that I can't just be her friend. She also stated that she wasn't sure she could ever have a relationship with anyone because of how this affected her. Now does that mean she might want a relationship with me? Who knows. I do know that I wouldn't go off to a nice dinner or the day with someone I knew cared for me. I don't see her as a user that way. As she told the woman whose H she had the affair with. He knows me better than anyone else. Maybe that is the in if it were to ever happen. All I know is that I can look myself in the face and know I gave it my all. I have no regrets doing that.
Guess I know of people who went through this only to realize that it might be worth it. I do know that right now she is in a state where she definitely isn't ready for any relationship. Sadly, I hope she doesn't think that it would be easier to start with someone new because she might think it too hard to work on us with all that has happened. I am much better than that. I would work together and try.
As far as having a conversation with her about relationships, etc. I know it has been a bit; but I think for her it is too soon. She is still processingall that has happened to her in the past year and isn't necessarily ready for that . In my mind, she is just starting to deal with the implications of what she has done to herself and others. To me, until she can deal with her feelings and guilt, that noone can truly be with her.
