I do try and go on with life and meet new people. Unfortunately, I won't settle and so there are many dry spells that I am by myself; but I do try and go forward. Just hard doing that alone and without my 4 children daily.
I hate living a dual life. One day dad and then the others a single guy with less cash to start a new life than he had before. I am in an apartment and hate it; but I haven't found any houses that are affordable and still have a life too.
Well, got an email from my BIL, who in his own warped way was trying to help. He had a conversation 2 days ago with her about her and I. He told her a few things that weren't quite accurate and it caused her and I some problems and now we sit here back before square one. I was pursuing a life and also backing away from her; but still leaving the door open for her. We had come a ways with things and his talk with her set it back. I think that she was not sure, confused, etc. and I also think that she thinks I broke her confidence with him. What actually happened was that he and I were supposed to get together for a talk and one thing that was on my mind was that her infidelity and how I was looked at in everyone's eyes by them not knowing that about her. Then I realized I couldn't break the confidence I said I would keep.
Anyway, just had a long talk with my BIL and I told him that I cared for my ex, will always love her some way; but that I wasn't just waiting around for her and in fact, recently decided to back off. IF she ever wants a relationship, that she needs to come to me and when she does it may be too late on my end. Anyway, he finally understood that I also had been dating; but that I wasn't going to throw it in her face and tell her that. Not feeling much better; but that is because work has stuck it to us and we might haveto work part of the weekend to make up for others mistakes.
