One additional issue is that since our divorce she has gotten a job and she has done well in it and I ask her how it is going, listen to her, support her, etc. However, when she first started that job, she befriended a 25yr old girl who is very immature. (My ex is 41) Well, my ex would go out with her and go drink, stay out late. None of which my ex would do with me during our marriage. Anyway, recently, they had a falling out; because the 25yr old girl got upset that a guy that she was interested in talked to my ex. She left my ex a note telling her that the reason she hangs out with people my exes age is that she has a better chance to meet guys. Hopefully, an awakening for my ex that she is still attractive; but not a young kid anymore. Well, that girl is not around right now; but she goesw out with coworkers, which is fine and she has every right to do; but they still are much younger than her and not sure how good that is. What I struggle with, and yes she does get back to me to meet for lunch, etc. is the following. When do I, if ever feel more important to her than these "friends". I need to feel that I am the most important person in her life at some point. Question is will I ever and if she never says anything, is there a time frame for me to wait and then say, hey she is never going to go any further than what we have today? I know this is a slow process; but I fear that I am trying to give her time; but our meetings other than her day off, are short and that when she is out with friends and I have our children, that she is out there and that someoneelse has a better chance at interacting with her than I do. Like I said, I know it's a slow process; but I also see more opening in her than ever before, I just want more than being just her friend. I have always been that and want her to se that too; but I need more.
Like I said in the previous posts, I am scared of getting hurt again. I need to make sure there is nothing left for us before I can let go. But I know someday, hopefully, soon, that I want a relationship again. Hopefully, with her; but if not someone else. I miss that and each day that goes by is hard.
