Update...Last night, I got a call from my ex around 6pm. She asked if I was still in the area. I told her I was (I was meeting a coworker later for dinner). Anyway, I asked her what was up. She told me that my youngest had swallowed a lollipop while they were on their way to drop my stepson off at his dads. I guess she freaked, understanably and wanted to know if I could go over to the McDonalds and keep him with me until she dropped my stepson off, in case something happened. When I got there, he seemed okay and was. I told her to drop my stepson off and I would keep the 2 younger boys with me. I gave her a hug; because I know she was freaked out. Then I told her to to try and take it easy and wind down on the ride back. We met up at the local Walmart. She had a few things to pickup for my sons birthday at her house. After that was done, I helped her put the kids in the car and said bye, gave her a hug and peck on the cheek. I know not good DBing; but I just am looking for some sign that this isn't a waste of time. Then I told her I would see her tomorrow when we grabbed coffee during her break.
The issue I am having and need understanding or support in is that I am trying to let her come to me and just be a friend to her; but wanting more than that and she knows that too, I have a tough time with it not going more forward than it has. I don't want to be taken for a fool and then someone else comes along and she doesn't do these things with me; but on the other hand these meetings are positive steps. Will they result in a reconciliation? Who knows? I would love that; but when does it kick in and when do I know it will never be more than it is right now? Is she nervous, guilty, afraid, not sure, the holidays? She never has had a problem telling me she didn't want to meet. I guess I am looking for a little bit more from her like some affectionate sign. Should I expect that right now or is her detachment normal? I understand that this isn't like a new relationship; because there is history and that makes it different and for me confusing.
Also, my mom volunteered to make Thanksgiving dinner for the kids and I, as it is my holiday and the kids seemed okay with that. According to my ex, my daughter (11) told me she wants to be home for Thanksgiving. I am sure it has to do with my ex working alot lately and not seeing my daughter. However, my parents are already prepping for this dinner and they would go to my aunts otherwise. I don't want this issue to derail any chance at reconciliation. If we were together, this wouldn't be an issue.
I try and take each day one at a time and try and see each meeting with the ex and I as a positive thing; but I will admit to being scared to get hurt by believing it could work. I wish I could keep a positive attitude that it will work; but divorce has made that hard.
Again, I guess I am here just looking for support or opinions, experiences of others. Is this how slow it goes. Can this go forward or is this something that will never progress beyond what it is now? Also, when does the time come to ask her if there might be a chance to work on it together?
