Hmmm...funny, still here!!! Never thought I would be and not sure what to make of all that is happening. My ex actually spilt some more stuff about 3 weeks ago and she and I have been getting along much better. In fact, we have had lunch and coffee a few times since then. And this past Tuesday, she and I took a day trip to Boston. It went really well. The only part that hasn't happened is that she hasn't talked about working it out; but then again, from what I remember reading and hearing from others, I shouldn't expect that right away. Just scared to put much hope into this, as I don't want to get hurt again; but I guess you have to take the chance in order to see. We just had lunch today during her workbreak and supposed to grab coffee tomorrow night when she has a break.
Guess I should view these as positive baby steps and that is what I should look for. I just have a hard time with the slowness of things. I go between that is the way it is supposed to go and that it should be more than it is right now.
I will elaborate further, when I have a few minutes; but I am looking for some input and if possible encouragement.
BTW, if you haven't read any of my previous threads, the fact is that she had an affair with a married next door neighbor when we lived in our old neighborhood. So, I guess I shouldn't expect her to have worked thorugh all of that yet; but guess I wonder if this is how other success stories started. I know that there are no guarantees; but I have unconciously kept pluggin away. Being the best person I can be. Just wondering if finally it may pay some dividends with her. I know it has with me. I remember a few weeks back when she spilled a bit more, that I was the one she came to. Then I said "I have been there for you and will be". To which she replied "Maybe you shouldn't be though" Almost guilty that I am still there after all this stuff. We had planned to grab dinner and such before she spilled more stuff recently and after she did, I was still willing and so was she. She said how she could use the person to talk to. I told her that I needed more than that; but that we could start out this way. That was 3 weeks ago and we still meet up. Our shedules and the kids visitation make it difficult to do more than meet up for a quick lunch, dinner, coffee; but they do occur and she doesn't say no. We really don't talk about relationships, her affair or anything. Mostly, it's about how her job is going, life, etc. She seems to be opening up parts of her life to me; but is it just to be a friend or more? Time will tell; but she knows that I want more.
So, opinions from experienced DBers is welcome and requested. I need to maintain a positive attitude.
