You have expectations of what she should or should not do based on your own perceptions of what a 40+ adult would do. You expect that since you spend so much time together that you would necessarily move to the next level. These expectations aren't met and you are upset about it.
The other part is that you can't accept that this is the way she is and the way it is probably going to be even if you were together again. Can you really accept her for how she is now? If this is the real her and how she will always be, can you overlook it and just accept her without judgement?
Even back together I find that my expectations still get in the way and it's hard to learn to accept some things. Just worry about the things you can control; you'll be much happier for it and so will she because she won't have to face your judgement.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
