No, I don't have a say in what she does or doesn't do; but I am also not supposed to have her guilt me into watching the kids so that she can go out. She made her bed with her parents and so she needs to worry about that without involving me. I ended up telling her today that I could watch the kids if she needed regardless of what she was doing. Am I happy about her asking me with the ability to do whatever??? No; but I thought about it and if she wants to go out to a party and wants me to watch the kids, then I will do it to be with the kids. I do get that.
As far as the "as long as it isn't a date comment. I think that she does not know what she wants and that is where that comes from. Like aI said, she tends to confide in me about alot of the issues she is going through. Just like I lost any right to tell her what she should or shouldn't do, she also should not expect me to be there for her either.
Today, we played racquetball before taking our son to a dr.'s appointment. She also has an interview for cleaning houses today. Along with that, she also got a callback from the guy that one of my good friends gave me for her to call about another job. She is doing this because her parents are now telling her that they can't do this sitting for the kids like they have been doing. Typical, (and not that they should have to do this); but they did agree to do this when she moved here. They always make a big offer and then sort of step back and renege a bit. However, as I know and she said today, they would flip if someone else watched the kids...Either a sitter we know who is a daughter some friends or even my parents. Again my ex goes back to them and then they give her the controlling thing she hates the most.
Another thing my ex told me as we were driving past a Lowes Home Improvement store that is soon to be opening. Her sister said "Promise me you won't get a job there" I looked at my ex and she said the her sister said "If you work there, you will be bringing home all kinds of losers" to which my ex replied, to her sister: "Thanks for your faith in me. I haven't brought anyone home at all at my job now. I keep home and work separate." (They know her and her mistakes. So, the comment isn't totally unfounded; but I think right now she is being extra cautious. I also hear her saying that she feels controlled. All I can say is that she needs to stand up for herself and tell them she appreciates their help; but that she has to use other avenues sometimes. I do that with my parents. Otherwise, they will control your every move based on their whims.
Well, like I said, we had a nice day driving up and back from Dr.s appt. She even had me stop on the side of the road, so she could take pictures of a stream. I dropped her off; because she had to go for the interview later and needed to get the kids to her dad. I wished her luck and left.
Yes, I know it may never be and I started to accept that a bit yesterday; but I don't knowthat it is definitely over. I think she still sees possibility; but is not ready. For the meantime, I will go about my life and do things and if she and I get time together that is okay for now. When I decide I have had enough, then I will totally give up. However, right now, I have no need to. I will take whatever comes along be it her or someone else.
