Ok, here goes...Ex is really starting to realize that the waitressing job is full of losers, druggies and cheating husbands and wives!!! After her infidelity, this seems to bother her alot. She wants out of there as soon as she can find something else. Hey this is a good wakeup call for her hopefully.
Well, when I went to pick up the kids, she talked for about 15 min with me about how bad it was and her being unhappy and never having walked off the job. I told her that I had a little bit of time when I dropped the kids off to talk if she wanted. SHe said ok.
Well, we got the kids ready for bed and then sat and talked while watching a tv show. I was meeting my friend later on. So, as we were talking, I probably broke every DB rule in the book!!! I rubbbed her back as she sat next to me. Then for some oddreason, as I was massaging her lower back, I reached under and rubbed her back under her shirt. No complaints??? (Actually why should there be for her??? lol) Well, that continued for 1/2 hour and then I sat in back of her, still no complaints and as I tried to make it easier to massage her upper back and shoulders, I lifted the back of her shirt up to her neck. Bad idea I know; but still got no complaints. Continued that massage for another 40 minutes as we talked (Me listening to all that was bothering her and just listening...no suggestions or anything), etc.
Then before she could say she was tired or something...I told her I have to leave an go meet my friend. As I left and was putting on my shoes and jacket, I told her have a good night and it will get better. She said I know. then without my brain functioning, it came out so naturally...I said well see ya later...I love ya...
Didn't get yelled at or anything; but I never intended to blurt that out...it just happened!!! I think I got cought up in the moment and it was like we were when we were together.
Well, like I said bad DBing; but not on purpose. I also know that the next time we are together, that she might be standoffish. Right now this seems to be the pattern. Question is, no matter how good it felt, would you want your ex massaging your back with you whole back and just the bra exposed??? Maybe, but I think not. I think she is just confused.
She also feels funny about having blown it off originally; but my friend had given her a contact for a job and she was still interested so I told her I would get the number for her.
Taking it one day at a time and hold no expectations; but maybe she will eventually open up. Patience is hard. Also, tryingto remember that I have to keep living life without her....
