First - about S13. Please make sure they test him for celiac disease. Insist on anti-gliadin antibodies as well as anti-TTG or anti-endomysial antibodies. There is a higher incidence of celiac disease among children with type I diabetes, and although the damage is probably already done, there is some slim hope that by identifying celiac disease early, a gluten-free diet might help those children with type I diabetes and celiac disease if instituted early. Here are a couple of references to help you convince his doctors to run the tests (simple blood tests).
This is a big challenege, I'm sorry H isn't quite there with you for this. My guess is he will rely on your stalwart nature to take care of things, and he will be so scared by the issues of mortality and how they play off his depression/MLC that he may not be able to deal with this head-on the way you would like. My H was sort of this way with D's ED. And frankly (no offense to the guys here, who of course are exceptions to the rule ) dads often can't deal as well with this stuff as moms anyway.
Second - you seem to be letting old news (what H bought OW last summer??? really, now, come on) ruin the present. Anxiety tends to cause us to bring up stuff and stir the pot - don't do that! You'll have enough anxiety without having to reach into the past for more.
As for H's complaints - I know they pop up when he's irrationally anxious or depressed - but you still DO have to address the kernel of truth in them. If you're honest, you'll admit you haven't been able to stick to an exercise regimen - and it's really not H's fault. Also, while the debt is not as large as H thinks, and he's responsible for part of it, it IS a large and worrisome amount. He's unlikely to feel comfortable with it until you both get working together on a plan to pay it down (have you listened to the Dave Ramsey show with H? Might give him hope and motivation). (Really, you should want to be doing every frugal thing you can to pay that debt down anyway since H is so unreliable - check out for yourself Your Money Or Your Life and The Tightwad Gazette).
Third - speaking of your weight - I know I discussed with you before the idea that you should get tested for thyroid disease. Thyroid disease is also more common in relatives of Type I diabetics. It would be smart for you and H to both be tested for celiac disease, thyroid disease, and diabetic antibodies. This may even be a way to get H to get some medical testing which might help with his depression?
Fourth - you need to improve your communication style with your H. When piecing, it is okay to actually say what you are worried about - while sometimes stuffing it and letting it ferment leads to blowouts like you guys had. He doesn't feel like he can discuss your weight problem without you getting all defensive and blowing up at him. You don't feel you can tell him your worries and concerns, so you end up accusing him when you can't hold it in any longer.
Hang in there, sweetheart. I know this is scary, but you can do it. S13 is lucky to have you.
) dads often can't deal as well with this stuff as moms anyway.
