just a minute to post. I need your prayers, gang, and I really am at a loss at to what to think/do. I've been out sick all week, got sick with I swear a "flu" a week ago, just back at work today for a bit. I am in shock though, last night i had to take S13 to the hospital. He was so ill and lethargic. We almost lost the kid, literally. We just discovered he is diabetic. I am just blown away.
To top it all off, H is weird as hell, didnt go with me to the hospital, didnt come to the hospital, I tried to call him for 45 minutes and the line was busy (said he called his parents) and when I got home at 2 am was giving me this medical jargon talk/explanation. I can't help but wonder if he was on the phone with the whore while S13 was deathly ill. I found out she contacted him around his birthday (1st part of March) and that last summer when we were on vacation he bought her a "trinket", a heart shaped stone that can be made into a necklace. just a trinket, one of those "polished rock" things, but it still pisses me off. he seldom buys me even a trinket.
We had a "blowout" of sorts Monday evening, H & I've both had this flu, S13's been feeling lousy....we were setting on the porch and H started talking about taking the whore fishing. I don't know why, but that pissed me off to no end. I asked why he took her fishing and he doesnt take me, and he said "I don't know, I guess she makes things more fun"....I said that sucked, give me a chance, and he said "lose weight...get on the treadmill"...he's been telling me i cannot have a bicycle. We don't need to spend the money. I blew up. told him I hated his f--king treadmill...and that I'm sorry if I'm not good enough for him. got up and went into the house. he came in and said "I'm sorry, I didnt mean to piss you off" and I told him it just hurts..... and then he went wild, off the deep end, screaming and yelling about 65,000 in "hidden credit card debt"....just off the wall, saying creditors have been calling him and telling him I owe this...This is not at all true, I owe nowhere near that much, Good Lord!!!!! and i told him the next time someone calls and tells him that, I want their name and phone # because it's illegal. I then called a company he said had called and asked them, you should have heard them sputter. So then he backed off, saying something about he's heard stuff from clients that he's responsible for anything I signed my name to....I can't help interpret clients as monster... H was so nuts and off the wall, it's like he's back to searching for justification for something. Been there, seen and that.....
He's really pissing and moaning about the new person they are sending to the out of town office....and was told that they may accomodate him by pulling him back into this office another day per week. So, this morning, he was ranting and raving about being a prisoner.
I didnt sleep a wink last night, between worrying about S13 and wondering why the hell I'm married to this damned idiot anyway. I did raise hell with him about calling her, which he swore he didnt, but i dont' know. I just told him I wished I could believe him but that I've been lied to so often for so long that it's very difficult.
I will be off work this afternoon, for my first sessions with the diabetes educator, who ironically has a daughter with it in the same school as S13, he even knows her. Hopefully he can get a pump in a few months. it sounds as though they are true miracles of modern medicine these days.
I'm just reeling from every thing. We almost lost S13.
Obviously S needs to be my priority, but it the damned idiot ever needs an excuse to run or what ever, he's sure got it now.
Of course, got to work late and was standing by the elevator talking to a friend who is a PA & monsters supervisor about S, and who gets off the elevator and walks right by me and gets on the scale (it's there close) but monster.
I have no clue what to do with/how to handle H. Guess I'll learn soon how to help S....
