I can see your really struggling with being comfortable with your H committment. All I can say is, for you, quit beatting yourself over the head with what if's. Unless you want to drive yourself crazy, you'll never make it past this hurdle. Are you going to get a written in stone, unrevokeable contract? No, heck what we did have didn't mean a thing to our S. For your own sake learn to detach and refocus on your life.
As far as your H helping himself to seconds, next time see if he wants to be served. Your positive attitude and willingness might be very appreciated. Make it so all positive things in his life come from you, or at least most of them. Try to take your R to the next level. Would you feel more comfortable if you felt he was actively persuing you again? Become more connected with him again like that and the rest will follow.
