Okay, Deb, here goes - First of all - TAKE CONTROL of this sitch. I know, it would have meant more to you if he had planned something and been loving on your anniversary, but being a martyr is darned unattractive too. Send your H an email, INFORM him that he is taking you out for a nice dinner tonight, and that you expect him to treat you to a pleasant evening.
Then go, stay out of R talks (except if you want to remember nice old times) - maybe even better if you can go to a comedy club or mystery theater dinner?
Now - about him saying he would go back on antidepressants - tell him that's a good idea!!!!
And - about the leg cramps - lots of things can cause those. But I want you to know, I had the wickedest ones when I was hypothyroid. Since depression can also be a symtpom of hypothyroidism, he REALLY should get his thyroid checked.
Now - suck it up, stand tall - you have been WAY too accomodating, I know, I've done it too. Tell him you expect to go out tonight, tell him what time you'll be ready, tell him you DESERVE to be respected and valued on your anniversary. I don't care if you have to drag him kicking and screaming - trust me, he will have a lot more respect for you if you INSIST on him treating you well. He won't respect you if you allow him to treat you badly.
