Deb - if he was trying to be good, and working at it, I'd not say throw him out.
If he was vascillating between the two of you, as he has been 2 years and you feel like you are treading water..I'd just do it. The one thing about DB is that they say you should try something new. The monster is no catch, and he may need to learn that. Of course, he may end up staying with her, but what is the real chance of that? He needs to be serious about working on your marriage, and he seems to feel he can have the both of you.
You've been so great to him, but I think I've gotten to the point where I'd not want to live in fear anymore. If H wanted someone else, that would be his issue, not mine - and I think being a strong person and not allowing that to go on while under "our" roof would be the best gift I could give myself.
I am glad you are busy, you should certainly be looking after yourself - eating well, exercise, etc. That is just about the most important thing you can do now.
