>>I'm having such weight issues. I'm serious, I know he doesnt put stuff in my mouth, but I really believe he's an emotional trigger for me, I've been tracking what i eat, and during the day I usually do ok, maybe 400 - 500 cals., but I get home and have his pissing and moaning and moping to listen to, and the next thing I know I'm stuffing my face and can't stop. <<

Deb -

500 calorries isn't much to eat during the day, and that is a problem if that is what you have before you get home in the evening. By the time 5pm rolls around, I generally have had about 1400 calories, and I usually have another 300 or 400 after that. You might not stuff yourself if you eat more during the day!

I know it's not a popular opinion, but I think you should kick your H out, or leave yourself. In the end, I think it might be the only way to save the M, if it is even saveable at this point. I know that I have a hard time sometimes, with my H (who I did end up marrying after going through the whole DB thing) - he isn't always happy, and it certainly doesn't have anything to do with me. He wants more money, he wants a different job, whatever - he'll say that there aren't any rich people who made their money with W-2's (normal jobs) and that isn't true, like 85% do. Quite frankly, I think about what I'd do if he wanted me to go, and I am almost ready for that if it ever happens. I never want to get dragged into anyones drama again. I love him a lot, and I just want him to find something that he can find a passion in (volunteering, or a hobby, etc.). We may have a 40 year marriage, we may not - but I think you've gone 3 years through your H's hell, and I think you need to put your wants and your needs first.

Life is too short to wait someone out that long, I don't think you should get a D...but you might want to kick his butt out the door. (I'm cynical, huh?) But when I watch tv shows dealing with cheating spouses and such, it's those who took a firm stand who often ended up with the cheater coming back.