well, ahem, actually I sent him back a just plain naughty one that he was better than any "toys" or movies, and that I'd have to start calling him DD (Devil D---) because of how naughty he is, and he emailed back that I was a horny girl and he only had one more hour to go...I emailed back that I'd qualify as HG, then, for Hot/Horny Girl....so, hopefully he's having a certain kind of thought about me
Hi Cupcake and dfb, this is weird, I didnt mean to ignore your posts, I just now saw them....don't know how i missed them. You both bring up good points, and I agree, my biggest concern is that it doesnt seem it will ever end as long as they work at the same place. and monster certainly does every damn thing she can to keep herself in the front of his ocd brain. Did I ever mention I'm sick of it all?
I still struggle/wrestle/debate to myself the points you make. I guess my struggles with ultimatums are weighing what I'd have to give up in one. Jobs like we have arent at all plentiful in this area, so odds are leaving for either of us would mean not just a large decrease in income, but also giving up vested retirement plans and paid health insurance. money does talk, loud and clear, or at least throws it's weight around. I'd need to give up my home, sometimes that sounds fine, but I know I'd really be sad about it.
I dunno though, even with all those factors on the "con" side of the balance sheets, there are times when I do consider doing it, or just throwing in the towel and saying the hell with it and taking off without giving him any options.
the GAL is still kind of tricky if we're going to try to stay together. Living very seperate lives under the same roof is part of what got us into this mess in the first place, it really is. So, it seems that making that a top priority would in fact be "doing more of the same" of what didnt work, especially in light of the fact that he has, for the most part, responded well to my efforts to build our relationship.
I really struggle with these issues, and find it difficult to decide the best course of action. And frankly i'm even tired of even trying to decide these days.
Quote: the GAL is still kind of tricky if we're going to try to stay together
Maybe what you need right now is to GAL as a couple? I know it's hard to motivate your H, but what new activities could you do as a couple? Is he training you on the weight machine yet? Could you get him to join you in entertaining some friends at home or going out to a comedy club or joining a bowling league or taking some kind of lessons together or.....???? It seems to me that he has a void in his life as far as friends go, OW kind of filled that void. Doesn't sound like your H has any good male friends or good couple friends that you do things together with?
well, this stinks. I got these emails from him a bit ago...shows how totally wrapped up in her a$$ he still is.
"Well, Devil D is just the person for the driving over the edge job! I always have paid close attention to what makes people tick, got to in this job and with that insight you also find out what really bugs them. I know she just goes wild when I say I want to use D (other nurse) as my contact point with the medical staff. She won’t say why exactly but I know it bugs her. Also, if I’m talking with or hanging around with S (female coworker in other office), she really gets acting stompy so I do that whenever possible when I know she’ll be watching. Remember last staffing? I was sitting by S with A (other female out-of-town coworker) right behind me? She thought she’d sit in front and flip hair? I totally beat her as every time she looked over to flip I was talking to one or the other which really pissed her off. I think she figures I’m like her, you screw everyone you talk to, I don’t but it sure keeps her jumping and fuming so I keep on doing what I can. I’m working on hanging with D (other nurse) more as of all people that really lights the fire and I want it blazing till she totally nuts out!!! I’m showing her hey it’s just so easy to find these young gals whatever was I thinking with her ugly ass??? She can imagine whatever she wants regarding what I’m doing with whom! Ha ha Yep it works like a charm. Later
....I asked why she gets so upset about him talking to the other nurse, and got this: "I think they have had words and she is very competitive, that she could lose me to someone, but it just better not be her arch rival. Actually D (other nurse) is so nice and very professional so I can have a perfectly nice conversation with her and frost monster’s ass big time!! Monster figures if I go back to you I’m safe and she can get me back anytime she wants. That is why I tell her when she asks how I doing? That I have “wonderful friends” that I can share all my hurts with, like S and A. I usually won’t hear back for 5-6 weeks so it’s a potent leave me alone move! Well, client is here so I got to go. D
WTF can't he tell monster he has ME to share all his hurts with? Lord knows he does.
I am so sick to death of this. I dunno, keep trying to draw him back and distract him, or go dark and GAL big time? although that is part of what created the problem before.
I have not responded to the last email, don't intend to. I may not respond the rest of the day.
Hi Ellie, just saw your post.... I don't know what we could do, honestly we don't do much of anything with anybody, havent for a long time, because I can't seem to get him to do a damn thing. It drives me nuts. he will hardly leave the house, except of course he was perfectly happy to to visit monster. That's part of why I was such a sucker for his "hunting trips" and making the arrangements for the damn vacation he took her on....I was so glad that he was FINALLY doing something besides sitting around mopeing ??????????????? I hate to sound like I'm arguing with/rejecting your suggestions, but I honest to God dont' know what I can do/try/suggest. I had such hopes for our out-of town weekend in February, that FINALLY he was getting out of his shell, and what does the dumbass do but mope around for the who-e and complain about money for 2 days and then tell me he can't do that anymore because it hurts too much.
ok, I edited a teeny bit to: My Dear Devil D, surely you should be paying less attention to aggravating monster and more attention to seducing your wife, who by the way is having hot red spots appear on her neck just from thinking of you???? sent it, havent had a reply, and am leaving for a meeting. we shall see.
Deb - it is not okay for him to be having monster go to him.
Either - you do need to quit your jobs (i.e. - he needs to quit) OR you need to get her fired.
I am sure that you have plenty of information to get her fired (that may not even have anything to do with your husband). If you need to do it anonymously, do it that way.
Hi dfb, you know, I'm not sure how much i have to get her fired. not much that I can prove, that's for sure, as it's all pretty much 2nd hand from H....I dunno. I guess the one thing that sticks in my mind is, she evidently takes drugs from the drug closet and from drug reps and then gives them to her family and friends. Ummmm, Ellie, you would know, is that illegal? I would guess that it would be.....
