Hi Cupcake and dfb, this is weird, I didnt mean to ignore your posts, I just now saw them....don't know how i missed them. You both bring up good points, and I agree, my biggest concern is that it doesnt seem it will ever end as long as they work at the same place. and monster certainly does every damn thing she can to keep herself in the front of his ocd brain. Did I ever mention I'm sick of it all?
I still struggle/wrestle/debate to myself the points you make. I guess my struggles with ultimatums are weighing what I'd have to give up in one. Jobs like we have arent at all plentiful in this area, so odds are leaving for either of us would mean not just a large decrease in income, but also giving up vested retirement plans and paid health insurance. money does talk, loud and clear, or at least throws it's weight around. I'd need to give up my home, sometimes that sounds fine, but I know I'd really be sad about it.
I dunno though, even with all those factors on the "con" side of the balance sheets, there are times when I do consider doing it, or just throwing in the towel and saying the hell with it and taking off without giving him any options.
the GAL is still kind of tricky if we're going to try to stay together. Living very seperate lives under the same roof is part of what got us into this mess in the first place, it really is. So, it seems that making that a top priority would in fact be "doing more of the same" of what didnt work, especially in light of the fact that he has, for the most part, responded well to my efforts to build our relationship.
I really struggle with these issues, and find it difficult to decide the best course of action. And frankly i'm even tired of even trying to decide these days.
