After going through the whole waiting thing, I don't think I'd do it again. I certainly don't believe anything is done either until the two of them aren't seeing each other anymore.
I really believe at this point in my life, and I've changed a lot over the past few years...if H wanted someone else, I'd leave and cut off all contact. It would save me a lot of the pain I put myself through - and if he would want to make a bad choice, he'd have to live with the results. I think that hanging on just pushes them away.
I don't think that Deb should necessarily kick him out, but she needs to get her own life in a big way. And perhaps at some point, it is time to say "it's me or her". If he chose OW, then it's not a lifetime thing - he'd finally figure out that she is nothing but a tramp. And Deb could find someone who isn't going to make her life miserable, or she could take him back if he came groveling.
