First, through the last few months, I have come back to read posts, but never seemed to have the time, energy or right mood to join in. For those that asked about me, thank you so much for thinking of me. Your caring means alot. And to the rest, new and old...I 'm still breathing and kicking. Just got carried away with all the stuff going on around here. It will soon be coming to an end.
On Friday the 13th, no less...next week, we'll be going before the judge, for what I understand will be the final hearing. I believe at that time the Judge will make a decision on the maintenance amount, and whatever else I may be entitled to. Needless to say, I'm anxious. I don't know, and kind of think, my permanent maintenance will be less than I'm getting now, plus I'll have to pay taxes on it and more expenses will be mine, as I won't be on Hs health insurance anymore. I'll have mine from where I work, but it's much inferior to his.
His L has had me jumping through hoops. Trying to prove medical issues that I have. When it came time for H to put up money to have me seen by a vocational expert, THEN they offered to bow out of that route.
This all has cost me so much money..and has cost this family so much more in the long run. S23 has just moved out. Is he financially ready for this. NO! But H and his L made such a big stink about S23 living with me, that S felt almost compelled to do so when a friend asked him if he wanted to rent a place together. I know he's plenty old enough to be doing this type of thing, but his wages are slim, and he's got debt he was trying to pay off. I don't know what the big deal was. H has been living with Twinkie for over a year and I'm sure they share more than just the sheets. She pays half the rent, and who knows what else.
His parents and sister were staring at my mom and stepdad at a festival a few weeks back. Just staring. Mom said she made no sign of recognition, and the other side didn't either. Isn't that something. After more than 30 years of being connected by H and I, everyones relationships have changed because of Hs decisions.
S23 told my mom, not me, that he hoped I continued to do Thanksgiving as I always have, so that the 'family' can get back to some normalcy. Well, of course I plan on doing that!! But it tore my heart out to hear that he feels/thinks that way , and only felt safe telling my mom that.
I know both S23 and I have separation pains right now, but I'm sure it will be good for both of us, at some point. LOL I'm already enjoying the extra room I have now in the apartment. Have moved my computer in, and have more storage for some of the things I just couldn't throw away when the house sold last April.
If things go well for me next week, I think I'll be able to start looking at my life in a better life, and not feel like Im' walking a tightrope all the time. I've still go rough times ahead, that I know. It will be a long time before certain things don't make much of an impression on me. I know that I will probably feel'married' until the day I die, as I see this divorce as nothing but a piece of paper, and a judgement from a man on a podium...not judgement /decision by God. If it's God's will that my life goes on in this direction, I'm more than ready. I just have to believe that he's been a part of all of this since day one.
I've been working and trying to deal with all this legal stuff for so long without taking anytime off from work...even when the house sold and I had to move. I think once there is a finality to this, I may take a day or two off...just to be a 'slug'.
Again...thanks so much for thinking about me. I had no idea that I had been off the radar for so many months. It's hard to believe how time flies, even when you're NOT having fun!(snicker)
God bless you all, and give you strength to endure the journey that you are currently on.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
