It's been about a week since the hearing. I've moved completely into the apartment, and the house closing is on Monday morning. Boxes and crap all over the place here, but I'll have to be patient I know.

Husband came into where I work the day or two after court with a lame excuse...then started in on what I knew he really wanted. He wanted us to sit down and try to work something out between the two of us to avoid the trial. I told him the lawyers would have to be in on it. His lawyer told him that usually the opposing sides don't have a 'sit down' until further into the settlement process. ???? How much further into divorce proceedings can we go??? H then called a couple of times the other day, and got quite pissy about some little time. He has no fuse whatsoever anymore...not even a short one. At one point I told him I wasn't talking to him if he was going to be like that.

His proposal is that I take all the equity from the house, plus all his 401K, and then no maintenance. What a joke. His 401K is small because he's only had one for the last 5 years. And 1/2 the equity is mine to begin with. When I conveyed this offer to my L, he was betweeen laughing and angry.

Oh, I did tell H that he had to go back to the house and wipe clean the basement freezer. He said that it was clean. I told him I had looked, and although it might be empty, it needs to be washed down too. Ohhhhhhhhh my...you would have thought I had asked him to wash all the windows at the Empire State Building or something. I told him that he had only done the basement and garage...that I had done all the rest of the house..so the freezer was his to do. Later, in another phone convo, he said he had finished freezer..and in a voice like he had just conquered a dragon. He must not even put two and two together....that he did two areas...and I had done all the rest...by myself. His time must be worth more than mine I guess

At one point, he was saying I should accept his proposal becasue his place of business could close or be sold, he might get disabled or unable to work....or die. I asked 'oh, is _________being sold and shut down?" (snicker) Then he went on to say that he hasn't been getting overtime...and how I'm getting more of his paycheck than he is. I soooooooo wanted to say 'what about Twinkies contribution to the budget', but I didn't. I didn't say anything bad...except once. He said he only wanted things to be 'fair'. I said 'I don't think they've been too fair so far'. I know, I know...shouldn't have said it, but it slipped out.

At this point, I guess I don't care if it goes to trial, other than the money that will be wasted. But I think it's the only way that I'll get maintenance. H does NOT want me as a weight around his neck in his new life. Wants to be free and clear, and no connection. I'm sorry he feels that way (although he didn't say these things), but after 30 years, I'm not just going to fade into the past that easily. I don't think he ever thought I would do anything other than what he wanted me to. Not accepting his offer has put him over the edge. I can hear it in his voice. Reality is finally setting in.

Laughing....I don't want what happened to you to happen to me, so I will heed your words. I know my H is going to get more desparate as time goes on, and with Twinkie maybe losing some of the twinkle in her eyes when she sees him as an older man, but an older man with less to offer her. I will push for garnishment of wages.

There is another hearing May 24th..evidentiary for reducing the temp maintenance he's been paying. Im hoping since the court set the amt almost a year ago, that they will let it remian as such for the time being. The house has been sold, I had to find a place to live and couldn't do that on my salary alone..so I don't really see what has changed. Other than H is claiming next to poverty. Funny....drinks aren't cheap, and our sons see him out at the bars every weekend with Twinkie. Must have money left over for that, huh?

Oh...great news...s23 got a fulltime job!! Not in the field he went to school for, but if he gets past the probationary period, he'll have full benefits including health insurance.

Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible