I know..weird title, but I was trying to think of something that fit what I'm trying to remember. I have to remember that I'll never be alone. That I have family, friends and most of all my relationship with The Lord.
There are times when I let myself think of my life w/o H in it. I never thought I'd have to do that. Well...I do. I've already learned how to do alot of things on my own, but I'll have to learn even more in the future. I'll have to take more risks than I ever thought I would have to. I'll have to put more thought into what I want from ANY relationship from now on.
I guess with H, and our marriage, I had just become so accustomed to the idea that we were 'in sync'. Now I know I couldn't have been more wrong. So...that's a lesson learned, and one I won't soon forget.
I don't know what will happen in his life. That is up to him. I do know that I don't want to spend what is left of my life alone and bitter. And I don't want to be afraid of feeling again. Whether H ever would come out of MLC or not...I have to remember that I am worthy of love and respect. If he will never be able to give me that, then I know there must be something better in my future. I do know that no one should have to hurt and suffer as much as us LBS have had to endure. I know that our gift is that we learn about grace, and that learning to forgive our WAS teaches us alot about ourselves.
I don't know what's down my narrow path. I just hope it's light and bright and filled with peace, love and hope.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
