I think you did GREAT as he was leaving. No hysterics, no drama, just him leaving and you staying. I really think that took strength. Now, the morning after, no matter WHAT happened in your mind, you have to keep that up. You realize that you need to take FULL ownership over what you CAN control and just let the rest go. I think you are on your way to doing that, just make sure you don't lose sight of that goal.
One of the hardest things to do is to let go of that "right" you feel you have to self pity in all this. You are CHOOSING to be in this position. H is NOT DOING THIS TO YOU, you are allowing it to happen. I say that not as a negative, but a positive. You HAVE control and you are using it RIGHT NOW. Don't let yourself believe that you are somehow being a victim in all this.
So long as you are making choices, like waiting this A out, then you ARE in control. It's when you decide you have no choice but to allow it to continue because you "need H" or "can't be without him" that you lose control and BECOME a victim, or someone who's given up control over their own life.
I am proud of you for taking a stand and gaining control over your emotions last night. Keep it up and I think you will start to gain new respect for yourself because of this ability. You WILL NOT ALLOW someone else's crap to drag you down, even if it's your H!
