Hi Leslie, I am so sorry that you are in this frustrating place. As far as a soul-searching experience, you are already in one. You ARE an honest and capable person. You are trying to stand on your own two feet and make a decision that will not only effect you, your husband, your kids and OW as well. That is a very large burden to bear. I too feel like I am turning the other cheek to H's A and letting him walk all over me. This does nothing to your self-esteem. It makes you feel weak and foolish. If you (and I) can continue to apply to the DB principles, we need to continue to "turn the other cheek to the A". Be the best person that you know you can be. When he comes home from his "rendezvous" be all happy and cheerful and don't question him at all about what he was doing. Trust me, he will feel bad about it without you rubbing his face in it. You take care of yourself and your family as you always would. Be tolerante and patient and let your H get thru his crisis in his own way and time. You be there for him as a loving and supportive wife. Don't push him into R talks to "convince" him of anything.
Anyway, hang in there. I'm trying to do the same. Just bite your tongue and think is what I'm about to do going to get me closer to my goal.
