RBinBR, thank you for the comment and the link. I have actually been thinking about going dark, as much as I can seeing as how we live together. I did that in the beginning of April, it lasted one week before he was clamoring for me. I think more it is that I need to stand up for myself as a new 180. He knows that my ignoring OW is 100% opposite of what I feel, but I am doing it anyway. I think that, for me, the kids, and my marriage, I need to let go. It is impossible for me to detach from him right now.
Haven't heard about the job, she is supposed to send me an offer next week, but it is pretty much a sure deal. I can live on my own, but neither H or I has the money to move, I really don't want to move out of my house anyway. My kids have friends in the neighborhood and I really like it here. No matter what, I knwo that we will be living together at least through June, unless H finds someone to loan him money to move out.
I know that this is what needs to happen, in my heart I know. I can't GAL and find what I want in life as long as I am consumed by his drama. H is in crisis, whether it is MLC or not I don't know, his counselor sees it to, I think he needs to figure himself too, outside of me. That's the only way he'll see what he is missing.
The bothersome thing is that he says exactly what he said a month ago. The past nine months have been a cycle, him withdrawing, then coming back, the longest we've been "apart" is two weeks, then he's knocking at my door. And I always let him in. No good for any of us...
