Been down this path before

[RBinBR]

Leslie, I'm so sorry to read about your tough week. If you feel that you're at the end of your rope, you may need some more distance between you and your H.

I think you should think about "going dark" for a while, meaning that you avoid all or almost all contact with your H. I have done it and found it to be very helpful to myself in helping me focus on GAL and recovering my emotional state so that I can DB again (although "going dark" IS DB -- Michele calls it the "after the last resort" technique in DR.

Did you get the job? If so, will that allow you the financial option of moving out?

Good reasons to go dark include:
1. Being stressed out by interactions with your H
2. Escaping the worry of "what am I going to say to him, and what's he going to say to me"
3. Allowing you to focus on yourself and GAL
4. Giving you space to plan to DB
5. Protecting yourself from knowing more about what he is doing with OW, so you have less to resent
6. Stopping you from doing more damage by getting angry or pursuing
7. You've been DB'ing for a while and are looking for a new 180 to get his attention.
8. You're thinking about filing for divorce

Here's a great thread on "Going Dark 101" started by our moderator and commented on by Michele.

Needless to say, the downside of going dark is that your H may further attach himself to OW during that time. Good luck with whatever you decide.