Quote: I think that sometime you are going to have to make a move to get out of the groove you seem to be in. Not sure how, but be sure you are not being a doormat, and overly passive.
I agree, we can't stay in this place forever, it's comfortable to a degree, but limbo nonetheless. The doormat/too passive thing is true and a hard spot, we have not had any R or OW talks in at least three weeks. The closest we've come to a R talk, SUnday we were alone in the car, H said that he feels good where things are, and realizes he has "situations" he needs to handle, and appreciates me giving him the space to do so, I said I feel that we need to talk about things, but I am scared to disturb the status quo, he agreed and said we will talk, we have lots to talk about. He is always so vague, I can assume that "situations" means OW, but it could also refer to him just getting his life under control. In the meantime, he is loving and affectionate, the sex is wonderful, H and I agreed that in the past few weeks, we have spent more great time just being together then we have in years...in fact to some degree I feel like we are in the early stages of a new relationship.
BUT, I have no idea what is going on with OW. I mean, I know they text back and forth, and probably phone calls, but I want to know what his plan is with that, what he is feeling. Does he still feel an overwhelming desire to see her? Would he still call his feelings love? When is it time to sit down and bring reality to the table? I think he wants to say nothing until he can tell me there is no longer any relationship, do I wait for him to bring it to me?
Have been thinking a lot about not wanting to appear too accepting of how things are currently, I am just not sure if it is a good idea to bring it up. I had thought about approaching H, telling him that the recent weeks have been really nice, the future talks are comforting and encouraging, but for me it is really not much more than talk, as he has not really stated that his feelings are changed about OW, and what he wants in his life... And maybe also telling him honestly that I feel liek I am getting too comfortable with what is going on, and need to continue taking care of me so as not to be surprised down the road...
Is it a good idea to initiate a R talk? Are the things I want to say valid form a DB'ing standpoint? I am not necessarily looking ofr a definitive answer, although I would gladly take "I'm letting OW go and I love you," even knowing he is still confused would help me keep clarity, I think.
