Quote: Re the ML thing .... it was a 180 for me, since that was one of his complaints. I was withdrawn, due to my own low self-esteem, and by the time he started the EA, I had started to work on myself, and thinking about my own sexuality, amongst other things.
This was a huge contributing factor for us, as well. If I had found this board a year ago or ten years ago, I'd be over on sex-starved marriage, as an LDS... It was through my own counseling after we seperated that I came to terms with a lot of personal issues that were affecting my sexuality. H has a hard time with it sometimes now because he's not used to me initiating, or even showing interest, let alone pulling new tricks out of my bag. He doesn't believe the authenticity of it. That is a part of why I feel our sexual relationship is so important right now. If he was all wham bam thank you and out the door, it'd be different. but there is a connection there when we ML now, well most of the time or 65% of the time, and it is like a little light beaming through the muck. PLUS, and I hate to even bring it up, but OW has no shame about using her sexuality to keep my H interested, in fact, according to H, part of the attraction was her excessive sexual innuendos.
I guess I am saying it is a 180 for me too, but it is real, as far as that goes it's like the cat has been let out of the bag, or something like that.
Also, BeingMe, I want to thank you for your posts on this thread, you're always very encouraging yet straightforward, THANKS!! Hope the studying went well and paid off!
And, on a side note, learned to always lock the car last night, seems someone got into my car and walked away with my son's walkman, all of our CD's, (just burned ones, thankfully) but worst of all, my bag with Divorce Remedy and my journal. Some loser had a good read last night!
