Been down this path before

[BeingMe]

Re the ML thing .... it was a 180 for me, since that was one of his complaints. I was withdrawn, due to my own low self-esteem, and by the time he started the EA, I had started to work on myself, and thinking about my own sexuality, amongst other things. So! Once I found out about the EA, I decided that it was time to up the ante, and work that OW right out of the equation, since she only had contact via the phone, email and IM. So, here is what I did ... I went onto a site where men talk about their wants and needs with women. I think it's called askmen.com, or something. I wanted to see what men wanted from us women, and, boy, did I have fun trying things on my H. Stuff he didn't even think of. Sometimes, I just have to say a word, and he knows exactly what I mean, and why, and he gets all shy. So funny, and cute.

I think this is something that everyone has to decide on at a personal level. My H felt rather guilty about it, but I assured him that I was getting as much, if not more, fun out of ML, and that I had no expectations from him since I had come to terms with our D'ing. Everyone has to decide what their comfort level is, and work within those boundaries. I just decided that I had nothing to lose and, who knew, if we did D, when I would ever get the opportunity to ML to anyone again. Well, that was my way of justifying it to myself.

Anyway, sorry if this is rather long-winded, but I thought maybe some of you might get a kick out my little story, or even a tip or two. Ultimately, whether it's ML, or anything else, the thing is to have fun in keeping them guessing, wondering, and curious about this person who they vaguely remember from when they first met you (especially us long-married people - 20 years for me). Think fun! You know, I even hid his cell phone once - it was hilarious watching him searching everywhere, and not wanting to ask me if I knew where it was. I was snickering under my breath.